Due to the reason of my Visa to stay in Germany, I had to live in Taiwan alone during the pregnancy; I could only get connected with Michael via Skype. It was tough to handle everything by myself; I even went to the hospital alone to give birth. I was forced to be strong.
After giving birth, I was not alone anymore. First time in my life I felt that I am a grown-up person, I was strong enough to carry everything on my shoulders. However, I worried if I could be a good mother for my baby. How to take care of her, how to take a shower for this little girl; how about food or milk? I thought, facing to a new life, I could never be careful enough and responsible for her.
Although I tried to study all baby books as many as possible; they show novice mothers how to test the bath water temperature, how to disinfect the bottles, they even explain how to understand different meanings when your baby cries.
Less than two weeks, all worries and problems solved naturally. I did not get a tutor but realized how to be a mother from the natural instinct. It was not necessary to understand why my baby girl cried, I took her in my arms and felt her heartbeats; we finally fell asleep together in the same respiratory rate.